Wedding Planning? Prevent favorite guests comparing your second wedding, to the first. It isn’t tricky but it may take some thought. Whether guests will or will not compare weddings is likely to be determined by the bride’s status.

Yes, it may be hypocritical, but for wedding planning; if it is the bride’s first wedding, she often can have as elaborate a wedding as she pleases. She can use all the traditional clothes and customs because it just doesn’t matter that it is the groom’s second wedding.

But if it is the bride’s second wedding you are planning, there are limitations in the minds of many guests. These things should be known and they can be dealt with in a constructive, reliable way.

Here are eight useful tips.

To start let’s make a guest list. Go get your essentials first. You know, a pencil, paper, and a “cuppa tea”. Put your head together and give this some focused thought. Prepare to visualize the ceremony.

Hang out the “Do Not Disturb ‘unless you have a cash” sign. Now you’re ready.

1. Pare down the guest list to the ceremony itself. This list must include members of the families and very close friends of the couple. That pretty much means parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts, siblings, godparents, and just your closest friends.

2. The bride should avoid the full-length gown and veil. Wear a bridal gown that is quite formal, of course, and three-quarters length or even street length but no veil. The Bridal Bouquet is always appropriate.

3. Everyone has a wedding cake. That is always proper for second weddings. However, throwing the bouquet, wearing the garter, and throwing rice aren’t.

4. The reception can be as elaborate, exuberant, and even wild as you wish. It makes no difference who is getting married for the second time.

5. Do not invite socially sensitive guests such as former in-laws and former spouses. If the children are at the wedding you can invite the grandparents. But that leads us to another point.

6. Get the former spouse’s approval before you invite the children and let the children decide how they feel about attending the wedding.

7. They can participate too. It makes them feel wanted and needed. Children, age 7 or 8 can be in charge of the guestbook or pass the cake, while older children say 13 or 14 can be an attendant if they are fully aware of the significance of the occasion.

8. Realize, some guests being invited to a second wedding gave generous gifts at the time of the first wedding. Some of these people may or may not be attending this time, for whatever the reason. But they may still send a small gift and a note. This serves mainly as a symbol that they approve, for which you can be grateful. It certainly deserves a thank-you note.

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